yesterday i attempted suicide (i did so many times before when i was 8-11 ts was the 1st time in like 3 years) and i didnt feel anything, no guilt becs its haram or guilt becs i didnt tell my bff good bye, nothing at all it was just so peacful i just said the shahada and closed my eyes and just before i passed out mom came in and called me out for food and i got better, i feel so weird idk what to do, i told my bff and she was overwhelmed and needed some space now i feel completely alone and stressed idk what to do, my parents rejected therapy mainly becs they both physically and mentally abused me and mom sexually rortured me since i was 2½ and they stopped when i was 12 or 13 i just dont know what to do