family

I'm feelin lost I can't speak to people I don't know how to speak I'm always alone even whne I'm in home I can't speak to my family I don't have the confidence to speak or do anythink I'm tierd My mind doesn't want to let me live

I feel like im not connected to my parents cuz i was raised by my grandma , even tho i live with them now im not that connected to them to the point that if i was far from home i can go days without even talking to them or asking abt them and its going to another point where i dont want to talk to anybody even my friends or other ppl ,idk if yall can get me but i hope u get the point

Today my mom and I spent more time together than usual and we ended up having a good long conversation its rare when we connect and get along this well but It always leaves me fulfilled and complete

I have ocd I feel like I'm in my clean pupple if someone touched me or touched anything of my stuff i might cry i really get upset and frustrated and disgusted and i want to hit that person really hard for just touching Just because iam not sure that this person is clean But on the other hand I just feel like that with my family I don't really feel that with my friends Maybe my family is really disgusting and i don't have a problem? Can someone tell me if they had a similar experience

Hy everyone wish thst ur all okay I just have a problem that my parents prefer their families which means parents and sblings more than me and I didn't feel okay I fell sad 😢 any help I'll be so grateful if u help me and give me advices