numbness

Lost alot Not falling apart Just falling Shame, deep shame, anxiety, anger , heart broken, numbness in between.. matter of fact you've gotten to no way back from being crazy Or just getting a heart attack, or blood clotting Or just your stomach ripping off Knowing you've got serious problems growing you've been handlig for years, after every minute deep need for seuside, yet fighting and getting best life meaning from learning to fight You're going to get mad anyways , no need to kill yourself

I wasn’t safe expressing my emotions so I suppressesd them so bad that I stopped feeling them all together I was a heavy number nothing ever made me feel anything and because I started very young I didn’t know anything other than that, I would see people acted completly different than me everyone around me had so much feelings all the time and that led me to believe I’m broken and not normal which led to intense self alienation feelings which contributed to whole other stuff