need help

So, I'm bad in expressing my feelings, I don't know what's happening to me, I'm tired of this life, I'm tired of love, he was the best person and I loved him so much, I thought he's the only one who understands me but, he's changing, he doesn't care about me. I need someone to care about me, I told him about my illness but he uses it as a, something funny. I'm not okay, at all, I need help, but I can't ask for it, because nobody cares about me! They just see me as a funny girl, but, no one's trying to understand me Even when I talk about how do I feel, I just see people changing, hating me If someone has some advice or just, sweet things to tell me, I really need it