life decisions

I spent most of my life thinking I’m fearless because nothing made me afraid not needles not blood not horror movies not rollercoasters until I discovered that this is the biggest lie I have ever lived in because I do get afraid in fact I have spent most of my life in fear I got so used to it I stopped realizing its fear every decision I ever took and every action I ever made was rooted in deep hidden muted fear I didn’t realize was there

Hi, today I came here to ask for some advice, or to hear from anyone who has been through something similar. I really want to continue my studies in a specific country, but my family refuses. They want me to go to another country where some of our relatives live, so I can have support and help there. The problem is that I don’t like that country at all. It feels dull and lifeless to me, and I don’t think I could feel comfortable or motivated there. On the other hand, the country I want to go to feels full of life and energy, and I know I need that kind of environment to stay active and do well. Both countries are in Europe, but I feel like the atmosphere would make a huge difference for me. What do you think about this situation